I'm drowing......
I really2 dunno wat to do.....
I nd you by my side....
i cant take it anymore....
i wanna burst all my sorrow to you....
i'm still waiting and hoping for you to come and confort me....
dream on...
dis is wat i felt nowadays. I really dunno y. I am lyke very2 depressed and PISSED OFF.Mayb all der exam fever and school is getting into me and making my head burst, especially aft der maths common test which i took today.A big heavy lump is forming in my heart. I've tried everything to make myself feel better bt i jus cant.I dunno y.This is my last option: blogging. By blogging, I can expressed my feelings and make myself feel better.I noe sum of you disagree bt who cares, dis is jus who i am.This feeling dat i'm suffering frm now is still a mystery to me. I am SO certain dati will do badly 4 all my common test papers. I have dis insticnt dat tells me dat, eventhough i tried my best. I can feel dat i am going to let EVERYONE dat i noe down cause of my grades and myself.
I made a deal wit my mum dat before my exams dat i will maintain my 3rd in class and 14th in position if my mum let me go to all hyrul's shows and concerts and let me go out wit der hyrulites.my mum was hesitant bt agreed eventually aft sum persuations frm der EXPERT..hehe.. bt wen i took all der common test..haiz..my confidence jus went down and down till i have none left. i am certain dat i cant fulfill my mum's wish and cause of dat i am very scared dat i cant b wit der hyrulites anymore and i cant go to hyrul's shows. *sobs* Wen i'm writing dis, deep down inside i'm crying cause i have really2 practiced very hard and tried my best bt by der looks of it i am sure to let my mum down and dat i cant fulfill my mum's wish. Dat makes me sad and depressed cause i noe dat i have failed as a daughter. HAIZ...omg..tears are really starting to fill my eyes man...i cant stop dem..i'm too sad and depressed.i cant take it any more haiz...
My mood swings really getting hold of me now.So guys...PLS GET AWAY FRM ME IF U DUN WANNA B HURT.. I am so sorry. I cant help it.
The other thing dat keeps bugging me is ppl tokin bout hyrul. I keep asking myself y do all dis things happen to me , y do my loved ones hav to suffer cause of me , y do i alwaes cause dem distress bt i tink dat all dis is jus a test for me frm Allah. I really hope dat things well b better. I oso dun understand y ppl keep on tokin BAD bout hyrul. GUYS...HE IS A HUMAN BEING TOO U NOE...haiz...i noe larh u all are jus trying to make me angry rite? lyke wanting to tease me bt y cant u jus find other ways of doing dat? y must everything i do b related to my idol, hyrul? and FYI, I noe dat NABI MUHAMMAD is my idol and it is lyke everyones. Dey jus dun say it cause it is alwaes in dier hearts. An idol dun neccessarily means dat i worship hyme or he is lyke everything to me. It simply means dat he is special and very important to me. He inspires me and wen ever i look at hyme, it will make me happy and lucky dat i am 1 of der hyrulites. Lucky to b a part of dem and lucky to have all of dem in my lyfe. I love dem all. AND, btw, love doesnt hav to b only to ur boifwen or gurlfwes if dats wat SOME of u tinks. Love is free and cn b for any1 dat u appreaciate and is important to u. I hope dat frm now on, dere is no misunderstanding of dat.Hyrul is a source of inspiration for me. Actually, i dun really care bout anu at first bt wen i my couz came to my house 1 day and ask me to on der tv for her to watch anu and i watch wit her, wen i saw hyrul performing, i straight away fell in love wit hyme, his style, his personality, EVERYTHING bout hyme "WOWS' me.Frm den on, i became 1 of his fans and now i'm lyke super crazy bout hyme. hehe. i noe some of u guys are sayin lyke wat der hell am i tokin bout. Jus tink bout someone important to u. Dunt u feel der same way too?? haiz..sumtimes its better nt to say sumthings huh??
well i jus hope dat NOBODY will say anything bad bout hyrul.Wen ppl say dat, sumtimes it really hurts u noe. SO pls, STOP IT!!
*sabby*